You Are Your Own Biggest Enemy
This is the hardest (and the most crucial) part when it comes to losing weight and getting fit.
I would be lying if I said that my coaching or influencing others to transform and love their bodies is 100% successful, because it is not. This makes me sad and puzzled, and even more motivated to help those who say they really, really, really want to change their lifestyle, especially their eating and fitness habits…but they just can’t commit to it. I like to compare their big desire but small action to, “Can you take that first breath for me?”
You see, when a person is drowning, another person is there to pull her out of the dangerous water. Then, she has someone to give her CPR. But then, it is only she who can cough out the dirty water and take that first inhale. During many years of coaching and observation, I have learned that there are two reasons why people struggle to take that first breath in. First, they think, “Someone pulled me out of the water, someone just revived me…well, can’t someone also take that breath for me and then breathe?” The second reason is because, “I almost drowned. It was a huge trauma: I deserve to lie down here and rest before I take in that breath.”
This is the mindset I come across once in a while during coaching sessions. The client knows she needs and wants to get her body into shape, not just because of medical reasons, but also because she knows that her life would change completely if she changed her eating habits and started working out. I know for sure that she wants the change very badly. However, two months have passed, and her nutrition and body haven’t changed at all. Why? Because every time something bad happened — her boyfriend made her upset, her best friend talked behind her back, her boss refused to give her a raise — she had a “good” reason to eat and “blow off my workout,” as she would say.
Is it okay, every once in a while, to have a bad eating day? Sure. I am not trying to be the healthy food police. However, we MUST be honest with ourselves about how many of those “I deserve to have a bad day” moments we have, and how often. And most importantly, who is paying the price? (HINT: It’s your body!)
Lately, I have been noticing a new trend in our culture, and I call it ‘Fitness Dishonesty.’ We have lowered the bar when it comes to our bodies in order to make ourselves feel better. (Please read my article, Is It Wise to Promote “Fat Acceptance” for Body Positivity Movement?.) When I spoke with my “resilient” client after who knows how many “bad day moments,” her response every time was, “Well, I had a really bad day. One bad-food-no-exercise day is not going to kill me.” The dishonesty about “just one day” is crushing our culture — but the greatest effect is on our health and the physical performance of our bodies. Thus, my biggest challenge is to figure out how long or what it will take for us to realize that, unless we are absolutely HONEST about our everyday habits, we won’t be able to transform or maintain a healthy, fit, happy, and fully functioning body. We might be able to fool ourselves with the new cultural body acceptance, but we will never be able to outsmart God’s creation. For his body creation, a hamburger is still a high-cholesterol hamburger, even after a “well-justified” bad day. Just like we can’t cheat death, we can’t cheat on getting in shape.
But why am I comparing the shape of our bodies to life and death? Because a life lived with a strong and happy body vs. an unhappy and weak body feels just like that. The main difference between those two options is living your life fully and joyfully while you move and breathe freely, vs. feeling unhappy and dissatisfied while waiting for someone to take that breath for you.
And this brings me back to my story about the first breath. You can have all the people pulling you out of the wild water and the best medics giving you first aid; however, there is absolutely no one who can take that first breath for you — period! We can justify our unhealthy eating and ditching the walk or hike, but in the end, it is our body that “eats” our own bullsh*t.
Please know that I am not judging or lacking in compassion for people when they go through tough times. I have been there, too; I have been on my knees, and I have been stuck in a ditch, never in my life having dreamt that such a thing would happen to me. However, after being stuck in that ditch, I had to come to the realization that I was the only one who could take that breath for me — I was the only one who could get me out of that ditch.
So, do you deserve a break and a one-person ice cream pity party? Sure. But how long can you live without breathing? Justifying eating and drinking is like sitting in a ditch and waiting for someone to breathe the life back into you. This might sound mean, but after pulling off all the layers and coming to the core of the matter (which is no more excuses), my question is: Who truly wants you to be happy, fit, and alive? Is it the person who tells you, “Oh honey, you deserve that bag of chips”? Or is it the person (me) who is yelling at you, “BREATHE!” as your face is turning blue from lack of oxygen (and dreams)?
I don’t mind when I am called “mean,” because I know that my yelling “Breathe!” will bring you back to life and, most importantly, will spark that beautiful LIGHT within you.
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If you would like to know exactly how to “take that breath,” to take control of your food choices, check out my article: Mindful Eating.
Also, if you would like to reach out to me to discuss more about my coaching please email me at: Heavenlybodyafter40@gmail.com
