What Can You do When Happiness is not Enough Motivation?
In my article How to win the fight: a bag of chips vs. your goal to lose weight, I wrote about how to overcome the impulse to have a very bad night (I call it ‘revenge’ eating: we think that scarfing down pizza, chips, and ice cream in one sitting will help us to ‘get even’ with the person who has hurt us). One of the pieces of advice in that article was to tap into the feeling you want to experience when you first wake up the next morning: how do you want to feel?
“…Instead of thinking,’Oh, well, it was a tough day; I deserve it,’ think about waking up the next morning as a CEO. Feel the joy of being the CEO of your life. Feel the LIGHTness of your body because you made the CEO decision not to give in to those chips.”
Basically, before you indulge in the huge bag of chips, think about WHO you want to be the next day when you wake up: do you want to be radiant, confident, and fun to be around? Or would you rather be frumpy, insecure, and always annoyed at yourself and others? The night of sad overindulging won’t cause you to wake up as a happy person; I know it, and you know it too.
In a discussion I had with a client during one of her sessions, she confided, “I don’t even remember how it feels to wake up in the morning energized and happy with my body. I have been embarrassed by my body for such a long time, I really don’t know what a happy morning feels like.” I knew exactly what she meant, because I had been in the same place. I used to be a Professional Fitness Competitor, and because of the extreme dieting required before each competition, I had developed an eating disorder. Even worse was the fact that I was a personal trainer. I did everything I could to hide my “food battle” from my clients. I was horrified that my clients might find out my eating was out of control.
I kept my body in shape with dieting, hard workouts, acupuncture, cleansing, and all kind of bodily treatments. And although my body didn’t externally reveal its battle, there was massive turmoil going on inside: lots and lots of unhappy thoughts, thoughts I woke and went to bed with every single day. So, I knew exactly what my client meant when she asked how it feels to wake up happy and without hating her body first thing in the morning.
It took me a long time to find the path for keeping my body, mind, and soul in good shape. It didn’t happen overnight, but I refused to give up on my body, and I was finally able to swing the pendulum back (if you are interested in how to develop the strongest discipline, read my article entitled Been There Done That). Nothing helped, until I finally “gave up” following other people’s diets, advice, and programs, and I turned inside myself. I started to listen and pay attention to my body: my body knew exactly what it needed and how best to nurture it. And ever since, I have followed my best “coach,” my Higher Self, my Soul.
But this Soul Path wasn’t always sufficient to overcome the turmoil, especially in situations where I was sitting at home by myself and numbing my loneliness or anger with overeating. And I knew it would not be enough for my client, either. Sometimes the motivation to run toward joy is not strong enough, because the joy is unfamiliar. However, I was so sick and tired of those sad mornings that I started to use them as the goal to run away from. Because I wasn’t able to tap into that feeling of loving my body in the morning and being excited for the day, I used the motivation: “There is NO WAY I am waking up tomorrow feeling miserable again. There is NO WAY I am doing it again.” Then, I’d put the ice cream back into the refrigerator.
You see, it is just like burning your hand on the stove. Once the blisters on your hands become unbearable, you won’t touch the stove again, no matter how much someone wants to trick you into touching it. I’d had enough of the blisters. The pain was so intense, there was no way I wanted to feel it again. So, my motivation was running AWAY from the PAIN.
Once I slowly got my eating under control and started waking up in the morning feeling happy, energized, and proud of my body, I could finally see the difference between happy and unhappy mornings. Now I know how they both feel, and although I know both feelings, my motivation is primarily running toward joy instead of running away from pain. However, there is nothing wrong with using both; do whatever it takes to remove you from that rock bottom, that intense pain. The most important thing is that you are running and moving.
Happy moving, and happy mornings!
If you’d like to chat with me or discuss receiving coaching from me please feel free to reach out! You can email me at: heavenlybodyafter40@gmail.com
