Stop Ghosting Your Workouts
The inspiration for this post came from a “trifecta” of little events from last week. First, one of our members who attends my Pilates group classes asked me what specific exercise could help her get rid of her “back handles,” the extra weight located in the mid to lower back area. She said, “I just want my back back.” I asked her what other exercises she does besides Pilates, because I wanted to see if she had been doing any cardio exercises. She said that she only did Pilates. Then, I started to ask if she did any cardio, but before I could finish my question, she blurted out, “I hate cardio!”
Later on, in line at the store, a woman turned and asked me, “So what is the secret to having the legs and butt like you have? I run and swim every day, but my butt doesn’t look like yours.” I told her she should add some resistance exercises like Pilates. She responded, “I hate indoor exercises; they are so boring.”
Not long after those conversations, I came across an article claiming that the ability to stay healthy and fit by regularly working out and eating nutritious foods is a sign of white privilege. I said to myself, “This author really must hate exercising — and she doubly hates it: both cardio and resistance workouts.”
Taking care of my body and keeping it strong, fit, and healthy is my passion, and my even greater passion is sharing my passion with others. There is nothing better and more impactful than Faith & Fitness when it comes to building our fit and healthy bodies to be resilient against today’s life obstacles and challenges. Truly, without my daily workouts and my faith, I would not be where I am today. Therefore, Faith & Fitness are my BFFs that keep me strong, both inside and outside.
So, how can we become friends with exercising? And most of all, how do we stop hating it?
1. Let go of old judgments.
Whatever reason you stopped exercising, or maybe you never even started or tried, is the old story. Many times, when we actually rethink our actions, we realize that the reason why “things didn’t work out” was:
- Misunderstanding — We didn’t give ourselves the chance to completely understand the process of exercising: the additional benefits, the intensity, the variations, etc.
- Misinformation — We allowed ourselves to be fooled by some crazy claims, like programs that promised we could lose weight without exercising.
- Overreacting — We started off way too fast and too hard; we couldn’t keep up with the intensity.
If the exercise didn’t give you the result you were expecting, it wasn’t the exercise’s fault — and it definitely wasn’t your body’s fault. Let go of the old judgment that your body is predestined to be out of shape and that exercising will never be part of your life. It is a huge relief when we LET GO of old beliefs. Use the energy you have thus far expended on hating exercise to set yourself free again…and while you are free, why not try something new and fun, like a new exercise you have never tried but always wished you would be able to do?
2. Be open.
Explore your relationship with exercise from a different angle. Find the exercise that makes you feel good and happy instead of searching for the exercise that will “make you” lose weight the fastest or seeking to exercise out of guilt. Let the exercise fulfill your life from a different aspect:
- Hiking can be used for mental recharge. (Please read my article about solo walking: Why Solo Walks Should be Your New Best Friend.)
- Pilates can help to connect the body, mind, and soul.
- Pickleball is a great social sport with the fastest-growing league because of its fun and competitive characteristics.
You see, there are many other reasons, much more fun reasons, to exercise than just losing weight. When you open your heart to new activities and exercises, you are building a stronger body but, more importantly, you are making your heart more loving by loving yourself and loving life.
3. The love must come both ways.
If you want true, loyal, and everlasting friendship, the love must come both ways. You know exercise loves your body but you must meet it halfway. In the beginning, maybe the love and excitement about exercising won’t come naturally, but you must show up and meet it halfway. While you are exercising, find characteristics and features to enjoy about the places, workouts, sports, people, studios, gyms, and new feelings. Just like with people, it is not always love at first sight. We must be willing to show up even without being able to see the unspoken words, kind gestures, and great feelings that come much later on in the relationship. But just like with a BFF, I promise you that love, that showing up, that act of meeting halfway will come back because a true BFF’s love is guaranteed to be reciprocal love.
4. Stay practical.
Put the exercise into your weekly or daily plan. We have busy lives, and although she is your BFF, eventually you would grow frustrated if she started showing up unexpectedly or began asking you randomly but quite often for help. If you set a coffee or lunch date with your BFF, you will both be excited to see each other. Be practical and make it easy to “meet up with exercise” by going to the gym or going for a walk: prepare the clothes the night before, set your coffee maker, go to bed earlier, etc. Yes, it is hard to exercise in the morning, but only when you are not prepared: not getting enough sleep, not being able to find your clothes, missing your coffee, etc.
As Barton Goldsmith said, “Relationships that work are the ones that are worked on.” The same applies to the relationship between you and your exercising.
5. Never forget to love yourself.
As in every relationship, the most important thing is not to forget and neglect yourself. When you love yourself, you find the perfect balance for everything, including healthy relationships. You will know when to rest and not get carried away with the obsession about exercising. At the same time, you won’t let excuses get in the way of building your healthy and strong body. Quite often, people stop exercising when their love and respect for themselves start fading away. Come back to yourself, find the love for yourself, and you will find the love for exercising, too.
Just because you had a bad experience with exercising in the past, doesn’t mean all exercises are bad and cause pain, disappointment, and hard work. Just because your partner cheated on you doesn’t mean all people are cheaters. You just need to find the exercise that fits YOU and your body, not your colleague’s body or that TikTok influencer’s body. Take a deeper soul search (past the superficial good looks) and see what exercises best fit you and which exercises will fulfill you on a deeper level. I promise you, you will find your BFF, your BODY, FITNESS & FAITH, who will love you forever and never give up on you.
That’s what BFFs do!
For more tips or coaching please contact me at: heavenlybodyafter40@gmail.com
