From Atheism to Spirituality: My Personal Journey

Before 1989, Slovakia used to be a communist country, and most Slovakians were non-believers. So being a Slovakian, I grew up to be a non-believer as well.

I didn’t have dreams; I had goals. These goals were based on logic, discipline, willpower, common sense, academic thinking, and the mentality of “I’ll believe it when I see it.” I looked down on people who believed in God. I judged them as being “unsophisticated.”

The logical and goal-oriented thinking served me well for many years in life.

• I excelled at school. Learning was super easy for me!
• I was accepted into an excellent and hard-to-get-into college
• I graduated with honors and earned my degree diploma

But things changed in the second year of my Ph.D. There wasn’t much awareness about fitness for women in Slovakia at that time. That’s why the dean of my college offered me a trip to Los Angeles (the mecca of Fitness and Bodybuilding in the USA). He wanted me to learn extensively about fitness in LA and then come back to Slovakia to start a fitness program for women.

I went to Los Angeles with full zest and motivation. But, life doesn’t always go according to plans. Does it? After a month, the person who offered us help in the USA “changed his mind” and crushed our plans.

One thing led the way to another, and I ended up walking down Santa Monica Boulevard in California with two huge suitcases, less than $100 in my wallet, and barely speaking any English. I didn’t know anyone. I had no idea where I was going to sleep that night.

My diploma and academic thinking seemed useless at that point. I didn’t see any way out of my situation. That’s when I did something I had never done before. I dropped to my knees and started praying. I was still skeptical, but I was also very humble.

To my surprise, help came soon. It felt like a miracle. Luckily, I happened to be at the right place, at the right time. Some incredibly kind and generous strangers came my way and offered me help. They provided me with a place to stay and work so I could make my living.

After this incident, I started opening my mind a little more to the possibility of “God.” I thought to myself — “Maybe there is a God.”

Weeks went by. Then, one day someone offered me a book, “A Return to Love.” At first, I was hesitant to accept the book because it contained the word “God.” My instinct was to turn down the gift by saying, “Thank you, but no thank you.” Now, I am glad I didn’t do so.

One fine evening, I sat down and opened up the book. As I began to read, I started experiencing “strange” things. Then, I got completely engrossed in the book and didn’t stop reading until I finished it.

In some parts of the book, the author describes her personal experiences from her spiritual awakening — which felt eerily familiar to my experiences. It was as if I could anticipate what her following sentence would say while I was reading those paragraphs.

Some other parts of the book contain words and sentences that felt so good that I still cannot find the right words to describe them. I was crying with joy while reading them. I didn’t understand this type of crying. It felt very foreign to me because I typically only cried when someone passed away or when I experienced some sort of physical pain (which rarely happened). This was my first experience with a blissful cry, with many more waiting in the future.

Reading Ms. Williamson’s empowering spiritual words provoked a shift within me. After finishing the book, I got clarity about many things in my life. And I developed a weird yet beautiful sense of “just knowing” things: knowing which way to turn, which door to open, and which stairs to take. I whispered to myself: “I know this place! I’ve been here! This is my true HOME!”

I was returning to my home within myself. The most fascinating thing is, despite growing up with the beliefs of atheism, I was able to re-remember who I truly am: a spiritual and god-loving person. I realized that our job here is not to learn (because we already KNOW) but to re-remember WHO we truly are and let others do the same.

Following my return HOME, my point of view changed dramatically. When I say “dramatically,” I mean that so many things became clear. Firstly, I finally understood why, growing up, we were not allowed to read the Bible or any other spiritual book. I could see how some people were afraid of the eternal hope that the divine power bestows upon the faithful.

I also understood why certain things happened the way they did. My new broader and better perspective helped me connect some dots and complete puzzles that had previously eluded me.

Lastly, I also began to see my academic knowledge and understanding of science in a new light. For example, last year, I had to refresh my knowledge of the cellular respiratory system in order to help my son with his science homework. I am a science teacher, so it wasn’t a challenge. I just needed to learn some new terminology.

When I was brushing up my knowledge, I realized that back in college, I had studied this topic as a person who didn’t believe in God — and, as I said above, who looked down upon spiritual people. So I had consumed all this information as a matter of fact.

I never appreciated the enormous complexity of mitochondria from glycolysis, the Krebs cycle, the oxidative phosphorylation that generates energy and carbon dioxide as end products, and the plant’s chloroplast system that gives oxygen as the final product.

But now, I can see the deeper meaning in things. If the final respiratory products of humans and plants were the same, they would have been fighting with each other for survival tools. That’s why the end products are different. In fact, not just different, they are mutually beneficial.

The plants, trees, animals, and humans are all of different sizes, shapes, and colors — but we all are connected and dependent upon each other. The end products of humans become the input for plants and vice-versa. How genius is that?

Throughout college, I was constantly fascinated by the human body. I wanted to learn about everything from hormones and enzymes to organs and systems so I could understand and control my body. However, the more I studied, the more I realized I was missing something — something fundamental and huge.

After empowering myself with spirituality, I found this missing piece. Earlier, I had never thought about “THE CREATOR” of this complex and beyond-belief design called YOU or ME. But now I know that designing such an incredible system isn’t possible for a human engineer. Only the higher power could have possibly created such a complex and detailed “project” called LIFE with such perfection.

Yes, we are complex beings, but The Creator has kept our survival tools pretty simple. All we need is oxygen and love: oxygen that we can obtain from plants and love that we get from other humans and the higher power.

I used to think that our strategy for survival is competition. But thanks to my “higher view,” I now KNOW it is cooperation. What an ordinary realization about an extraordinary creation!

Love & Light

Tatiana Schloessman is the creator and CEO of myreturn.Life, and author of 555 Method. Born and raised in Slovakia, Tatiana has always been naturally driven toward success and inclined to overcome any challenge she’s faced. However, it wasn’t until completing her Master’s in Physical Education and Biology that led her to the United States that she realized her life had been missing a critical component: faith. Homeless, penniless, and speaking no English, Tatiana began rebuilding her life–this time, with an open heart and mind. With Her HEAVENLY BODY COACHING, she specifically teaches women to permanently break free from their unhealthy patterns, whatever they may be, and center their lives around a higher power. She says, “The moment you realize that YOU are worthy and enough, you claim the power to change your life!” Visit My Return.life to learn more about Heavenly Body Formula and find your way home.