Mind Over Matter
The Secret to Achieving Your Dreams
…That No One Ever Talks About
Fulfill your goals and achieve your dreams through the care and wellbeing of your body.
Do you have goals in your life that remain unfinished, simply because your mind is too busy judging yourself for eating that last piece of cake at midnight, or finishing that bottle of wine? Do you have a job at which, if you could simply control your mindset, you know you could be successful — but instead, you’re preoccupied with consuming thoughts of food, body shaming, self-blame, negative self-talk, endless healthy eating challenges…and hating everyone who has “a great body” and who has achieved their healthy eating goals?
It is impossible to create when we are prisoners to those constant thoughts of food and body dissatisfaction. To create and achieve our goals and dreams, our minds must be free. Do not give up on your dreams. Instead, I urge you to pursue your goals — but with a different approach than you’ve ever before tried. Healthy eating without dieting may sound impossible, but hear me out.
As a personal trainer, a fitness competitor, a mom, and (most recently) as CEO of my own life, I have experienced my own body transforming and adjusting to numerous shapes and sizes. As a young kid, I was always athletic — so I experienced no body image issues until I grew older. I chose to attend the Athletic College; however, the college wasn’t exactly what I thought it would be. I began to do some “emotional eating,” although at the time I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing. To complete my degree, I came to the United States and became a personal trainer and a fitness competitor. I worked diligently until my body transformed into the most athletic shape possible. I was totally put together — but only on the outside. The competitions took quite a toll on my mental stamina because of the extreme dieting, and I developed an eating disorder that took me 10 years to overcome. I became a “food prisoner.” My love/hate relationship with both my food and my body completely controlled my everyday life. Reaching your goals is impossible when your focus is continually being pulled in the wrong direction.
I felt as if I were spiraling out of control. I tried acupuncture, hypnosis, excessive exercise, extreme dieting, reading every popular mindset book, prayer, and meditation — all without results. Finally, one day I figured out the “secret” to “controlling” my body. You must understand: where the mind goes, the body follows. If the mind can’t see (or is not willing to go) where you wish, then the body has no power to get itself into your desired shape or to practice healthy eating. Therefore, in order to take the ultimate control of your body, your food intake, and your wellbeing, you can’t start with your body — nor your mind. Healthy eating motivation, in order to last, must come from a higher source. You must first start with that particular “something” that is more powerful than your mind–that “thing” which your mind most respects.
How does it look to have full control of your wellbeing?
In the morning, you wake up earlier so you can work out — not because you feel ashamed of your body, but because you know it makes you feel good for the rest of your day. Just like artists and performers have to “pump themselves up” before a performance, you know that feeling your best means that you’re setting yourself up to deliver YOUR greatest performance. You skip the chips because you know they are a gateway to the self-sabotage of your great performance. You don’t avoid going to parties or buffet dinners, because you possess the self-control to choose what makes your body happy while you still enjoy the fun. You see, going to parties and dinners but refusing to eat anything (or bringing your own food) is not having full control. “Full control” means choosing the best foods you can in the proper amounts, from the foods that are being served. I know some women who stay away from all the food at parties — but then on the way home, they stop at Seven-Eleven for a junk food run, because their extreme self-control can only last so long. Their minds cannot take “no” for an answer once their audience is no longer watching.
So what (or who) can so convincingly affect our state of mind? It is the very same being who runs our bodies while our minds and bodies are asleep. It is the very same being who pumps the blood through our veins and the air into our lungs while we sleep, who watches over us unconditionally and lovingly. I like to call her my “Inner Being,” my “Better Me,” my “Unconditional Friend.” It really doesn’t matter what you call it; all you need to know is that SHE is the best version of yourself. She loves you unconditionally and infinitely, and She is doing everything to help you to be just like HER: loving, joyful, and successful — because YOU are meant to be. She is your Inner Voice, and She is your GPS. She is the only one your mind cannot manipulate or intimidate. She is the one your mind genuinely respects.
So how do you know if you follow Her voice and Her wisdom? You know by your feelings. When you feel good, it means you are following the correct path and moving closer to Her. Feelings of guilt, anger, self-judgment, lack of energy and inspiration, and self-doubt are all signs that you are heading in the wrong direction — away from Her. The more severe the pain, the farther away you are from Her.
Imagine you are having a day of dedicated focus, during which you remain loyal to your decision to eat healthy, nourishing food and get some good exercise. The next day, you wake up early in the morning to exercise before your important day: a presentation, an interview, or the closing of an important deal. After your shower, you look in the mirror. You feel so good and so proud of yourself. You feel good while putting on your clothes: you love yourself. Your thoughts drift to the upcoming meeting, and because you feel so good and “on fire,” new ideas are just flowing in to help you shine during your important moment. You walk into the presentation and you seem to radiate a light that brightens up the whole room! It is impossible to resist your glow or deny your proficiency. Most of your days flow just like this, whenever you listen to your Inner Being and remain addicted to your wellbeing.
On the other hand, recall how you feel in the morning after you’ve chosen to ignore HER inner voice the day prior. You wake up with feelings of guilt, shame, and anger, upset that you have “done it again.” With your mind preoccupied, shaming and belittling, you begin to get ready for your meeting. Your clothes don’t feel right. Your hair looks funky. The distracting thoughts don’t stop until you’ve entered the office, and without that special glow, you fail to light up the room.
The big shift in my ability to free myself from negative food-and-body thoughts came when I finally changed my form of dreaming. I stopped dreaming in pictures, and I started dreaming in “feelings.” I no longer picture myself looking great in a bikini or in a beautiful dress. Instead, I picture myself waking up in the morning feeling happy: excited, motivated, inspired. I am loving life. When I eat, my question isn’t, “Will this make me fat?” Instead, my question is, “Will I wake up tomorrow morning feeling happy after I eat this food? Will I still be happy tomorrow after neglecting to go for the walk I promised myself today?”
But before you even ask these questions, your promise and your words must matter to you. Your thoughts must matter to you. YOU must MATTER to yourself. Then, you will start with your Highest Thoughts about yourself. Imagine the YOU that you would be if you lived those Highest Thoughts in every moment of every day. Imagine what you would create, think, do, say, and eat. Imagine how you would respond to the situations in your life, your callings, and your goals.
By freeing yourself from your own body-shaming, guilty, and hateful thoughts, you will give yourself the most important gift of all: the space and time to create and to work on your dreams. Instead of scolding yourself for consuming that enormous slice of pizza, while driving along the freeway you will be thinking creative thoughts about the next steps toward your dreams. However, time and space are not the only gifts you’ll give yourself. There is an even more important gift: sparks — the enthusiasm and the joy to work on your dreams. It is that very excitement which prompts you to wake up in the morning: love for yourself, and love for life.
So, do you want your life to take off? Start loving yourself, eating healthy, and exercising by respecting your own feelings and Her Inner Voice — and no matter what, remain LOYAL to HER. Allow Her to guide you all the way to the Very Best Version of Yourself.
If you have any questions or would like to further discuss the article please reach out to my email: heavenlybodyafter40@gmail.com
