You can be Kind & Spiritual and Still Say NO: A Guide to Setting Boundaries in Relationships
“You’re such a kind person. Your circle must be open to all people!”
“Being spiritual must have made you strong enough to accept everyone in your life, including those who have hurt you.”
After significant spiritual and personal growth, when I finally learnt to show up as my true, authentic self, these are the comments I received from people.
It’s funny how people think that if someone is kind or spiritual, they will be loving and accepting towards others even when they are not treated right.
But I knew this couldn’t be farther from the truth. I recognized my worth, and I knew I deserved to be treated well.
However, despite having unshakable self-worth, the above-mentioned comments from people got to me. They made me question my kindness, spirituality, and god-loving nature.
So I decided to call on my guides for help. I passed my guilty conscience and other people’s questions to my guides through journaling.
And here is the answer I received:
“Being spiritual and loving God doesn’t equate to allowing others to hurt you or mistreat you. You are absolutely right, and you have the right to feel and express pain when you are hurt. When the wound is there, the pain will be there. Don’t pretend something is not there when it is.”
This answer cleared the air for me. It also helped me see through people’s flawed notions around kindness, religion & spirituality.
The Paradox of Kindness: How to be kind without letting others hurt you
Being nice and considerate is undoubtedly a good thing. It shows you care for the people around you. But extremes of anything are always harmful.
When you’re too kind…
- You might end up in connections where you’re over-giving without getting the same kindness and generosity back.
- You may get so caught up in giving love and kindness to others that you forget to practice the same kindness with yourself.
- Selfish people (there are many in this world) might take advantage of your kindness and compassion.
- People who believe ‘kindness is weakness’ may end up hurting you.
That’s why it’s crucial to set limits on your kindness.
I learnt to set limits on my kindness with personal boundaries.
Yes, I began setting healthy boundaries in my relationships. This allowed me to welcome awesome and like-minded people in my circle and say no to people and things that didn’t match my vibes.
These boundaries worked like a charm for me. They immensely improved my relationships and helped me inculcate more self-love and self-care into my life.
How to Set Healthy Boundaries in Relationships?
Below is a step-by-step, no-BS guide that you can follow to set such healthy boundaries and bring more harmony and balance in your relationships with others and with yourself. Let’s dive in!
Step 1: Heal your wounds and find your true self
You got hurt because the people who hurt you didn’t know who you TRULY are. If they knew your worth, they would have never abused you, cheated on you, or mistreated you.
But there is one more layer to this truth. When you got hurt, likely, you weren’t aware of your worth either. Had you known your worth, you would have never allowed them to do what they did.
That’s why, first of all, you need to discover who you TRULY are. For this, you need to go within, heal your wounds, and recognize your worth.
Step 2: Order your DIVINE glasses and fearlessly put them on
Your divine glasses will protect your energy. They will allow you to see clearly the people who recognize your worth and blur away the people who don’t.
The blurry areas represent the people who don’t recognize your worth and don’t vibe with your energy. You neither hate these blurs nor do you pretend to love them.
Instead, you simply ignore them and stay away from them. Since they are in blurry and invisible areas, you don’t care what they have to say.
Step 3: Focus on what you CAN see
You will suddenly start seeing and meeting new people, opportunities, and ideas that align with your high vibe and self-worth. They have been there the whole time, but you just couldn’t see them before. But now, with your brand-new divine glasses, your focus begins to shift to beneficial things.
Following these three steps will help you set and maintain healthy boundaries.
Remember, the CEO of Her Own Life is God-loving, kind, gentle, caring, good-hearted, understanding, tolerant, and well-meaning being. BUT she is not stupid. She loves all people whom she can see through her CEO Divine glasses and IGNORES everyone that is blurry.
I see YOU, all my beautiful CEOs.
The Greatness is always there, but it can only be witnessed by the one who knows who she is.
Love & Light
Tatiana Schloessman is the creator and CEO of myreturn.Life, and author of 555 Method. Born and raised in Slovakia, Tatiana has always been naturally driven toward success and inclined to overcome any challenge she’s faced. However, it wasn’t until completing her Master’s in Physical Education and Biology that led her to the United States that she realized her life had been missing a critical component: faith. Homeless, penniless, and speaking no English, Tatiana began rebuilding her life–this time, with an open heart and mind. With Her HEAVENLY BODY COACHING, she specifically teaches women to permanently break free from their unhealthy patterns, whatever they may be, and center their lives around a higher power. She says, “The moment you realize that YOU are worthy and enough, you claim the power to change your life!” Visit My Return.life to learn more about Heavenly Body Formula and find your way home.
